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Young Wrexham

Relationships & Family

Other people – they are what makes life so good, but sometimes they are what makes life so bad. Remember you can pick your friends but not your family.

Some things you may have questions about could be:

There are times when some people just get on your nerves. There are times when you like someone, but aren’t sure if they like you. There are times when you think your parents come from a different planet. That’s life.

But there are other times when things are more serious. You are confused and worried and it’s making life difficult. Don’t worry because help is out there. No problem is too small. Check out these web sites or call a helpline. There are people waiting to give you the help you need to get through the difficult times.

Families

What is a normal family? There is no such thing. Families come with all kinds of problems, some could be;

If you need support or you are worried about family member there are people who can help. You can contact the info shop or come in and speak to us.

Relate offers family counselling which may help you and your family or you can come and speak to a counsellor at the Info shop.

You may be having a child and starting your own family, Home Start help to increase the confidence and independence of families. Home start is a voluntary organisation that offers free, confidential support, friendship and practical help to families, including lone parents, who have at least one child under the age of five. The service provides visits to families in their own home to offer support, friendship and practical assistance, family support group meetings and occasional outings and social events.

If you feel you need support talking to your family about any issue Second Voice Advocacy may be able to help you.

BAWSO is an all Wales, voluntary organisation, providing specialist holistic services to black and minority ethnic women and children. They offer childcare support, language support and have a 24 hour help line.

Some families may have traditions that organise marriages for their sons and daughters when they are young and these are called ‘arranged marriages’ where a contract is agreed between the two families. Forced marriage is a marriage conducted without the full consent of both parties and where duress (emotional pressure in addition to physical abuse) is a factor. It is an entirely separate issue from arranged marriage, and the two should not be confused. In an arranged or assisted marriage, the families take a role in choosing and introducing the marriage partners, but the marriage is entered into freely by both people, without duress being a factor. In a forced marriage, this consent does not exist.

If you are worried about forced marriages and need support you can contact Women’s Aid, Men’s Advice Line and the Foreign and Commonwealth Office.

Bullying

Bullying can happen to anyone and in any place. You can be bullied at school, home and the work place. Bullied by a friend, family member or partner, bullying is even taking place on the internet.

Definition of Bully

Someone who hurts or frightens someone who is smaller or less powerful than them, often forcing them to do something they do not want to do.

Bullying can happen in different ways for example:

Bullying can make you feel alone and have a big affect on your confidence. If you feel you are being bullied it is important to tell someone, let them know how you are feeling.

For help and support contact Childline, Kidscape or call into the Info Shop.

Pregnancy

Being pregnant can be an emotional time for people what ever your age and for some people very stressful. What shall I do? How am I going to tell my family? Can I afford a baby?

If you would like some support to talk to your family or to speak to someone to look at your options you can call in and speak to one of our nurses or our advocates could support you to make the choice that is best for you.

There is a lot of support for people becoming parents. Sure Start looks at supporting teenage parents in improving the health and well being of families and children before and from birth.

You can always ask your midwife or consult the GP for support services.

Adoption

Finding out you have been adopted can be an emotional experience and not everyone’s experience of adoption is the same. More often than not, being adopted is a big part of someone’s life, and can be something they think about often, but not always something they feel able to talk about.

If you would like to speak to someone, the counsellors at the Info Shop are here to:

  1. Listen to you. If you want to talk about your problems and what is troubling you.
  2. Listen to you if you want to talk about your feelings, good or bad.
  3. Talk about things you don’t feel you can talk to your Mum or Dad about.

There is also support from After Adoption where they have a forum for people who have been adopted to talk online.

Being in Care

Carelaw is an information site for children and young people in care in England & Wales. It covers many topics from your rights in care to what happens when you leave care. It also explains how the law is different if you are ‘accommodated’, as opposed to being under a care order.

If you are leaving care and you are unsure what you are entitled too A National Voice can put you in the right direction.

Being a Young Carer

Do you look after someone else who is ill, or has a problem with alcohol or other drugs, or someone who is elderly or perhaps has a disability? Or does someone else’s difficulty mean that you look after other members of your family? You may be helping with practical things like cooking and cleaning, bathing and dressing etc, or perhaps you provide more emotional help.

If this sounds like you, don’t feel you have to deal with things on your own; you are entitled to some support. There are people you can talk to about this. Avow provide a free carers information pack all you need to do is register.

For more information and support on being a young carer you can visit The Princess Royal Trust for Carers, NHS Young Carers, Direct.gov’s Caring for Someone or if you would like to speak to someone call into the Info Shop.

NEWCIS is an information and support service for carers which can signpost carers to appropriate agencies, such as Welfare Rights.

Bereavement

To be bereaved usually means to lose someone we love through death. It results in a great longing for the dead person and a period of adjustment which may take years. All parts of our being may be affected – emotional, physical, spiritual and social - but the overriding feeling is one of intense pain, or grief.

Grief is the name given to the natural reactions we have after the death of someone who’s been close to us. When we’re grieving, it’s difficult to understand what’s happening. If you have lost someone you may experience feelings, such as shock, confusion, anger and guilt.

Nightingale House offers bereavement support to family members and children. You can call in to the hospice during the week for information about the services they provide. To receive care and support, a medical referral is required. This can be from a GP (General Practitioner) or from the consultant in charge of your care at the hospital. They can either send a letter or complete a hospice referral form.

The Info Shop offers a counselling service, If you wish to speak to someone please call or visit.

Sexuality

Many people find it extremely hard to recognise why they are attracted to an individual of the same sex or both sexes when it is perceived as ‘natural’ to be interested in the opposite sex. Your sexuality is part of your personality. It’s how you feel about yourself as a sexual being and how others see you. It may take time to find out who you are and what you want, but that’s all part of the process, so take your time. There’s no rush.

Sexual orientation can take many forms – straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual. Even then everyone’s different. A lot of people are unsure what their sexual orientation is. You don’t choose your sexual orientation any more than you choose to be tall or small. It’s just the way you are.

If you are thinking of coming out try to work out how and who you want to tell, choose someone you trust to tell first, and choose your moment if you can so that you have time to talk properly.

For information on support groups Stonewall, LGBT Foundation

Love & Sex

Being in love can be the most fantastic feeling in the world. You feel happy, can’t stop smiling or wanting to spend all your spare time with one person, but remember you friends, if this relationship goes horribly wrong who will be there to support you? Make time for yourself and your friends too.

Whilst in your relationship you may feel you want to make the next step to changing your relationship to a sexual one.

Sex and the Law

It is against the law for anyone to have sex with a young person under the age of 16. This is the same for men and women and for heterosexual (straight) and homosexual (gay/lesbian) sex. This is know as the age of consent.

Deciding to have sex is a big decision, knowing about sex doesn’t mean you have to do it, so don’t be pressured to do anything you don’t want to do and don’t pressure someone into doing something they don’t want to do.

Making sure you are safe is important. Safer sex means taking steps to reduce the risk of getting pregnant and getting or spreading sexually transmitted infections (STIs)

If you haven’t signed up already you can come into the Info Shop and speak to a youth worker or nurse and discuss different contraceptives and how to keep yourself safe.

If you have any questions you can also email the info infoshop@wrexham.gov.uk

Contraception

No method of contraception is perfect, but some are a lot more effective than others. If you are going to have sex and you don’t want to get pregnant, you really need to work out the best and most effective method of contraception for you.

If you would like to know the types of contraception available, the fpa have a guide with the advantages and disadvantages of each.

It is recommended that even though you may be using contraception you should always use condoms to ensure you don’t catch an STI or pass one on.

Abusive Relationships

Domestic violence includes a range of behaviours: it can be physical, psychological, sexual or financial. It takes place within an intimate relationship and forms a pattern of bullying and controlling behaviour.

If you are forced to alter your behaviour because you are frightened of your partner’s reaction, it is likely you are being abused.

Anyone can experience domestic violence – it can happen in all kinds of relationships, regardless of age, race, sex, sexuality, disability, wealth, gender identity and lifestyle. It is rarely a one-off event. Physical and sexual abuse tends to get more severe and happen more often over time.

If you are in a domestic violent relationship and you would like to talk to some one Women’s Aid offer support, if you are not sure if you’re experiencing domestic abuse ask yourself these questions

As domestic violence is an issue that effects people from all ethnic groups BAWSO offers emotional and practical support to BME young girls aged 11–21.

Domestic abuse does not only happen to women, it can happen to men too. The Men’s Advice Line is a confidential helpline for all men experiencing domestic violence by a current or ex-partner. This includes all men – in heterosexual or same-sex relationships.

If you are worried that a friend or family member is suffering from domestic abuse there is support at Women’s Aid.